Photo Description: Portrait of Codee with arms crossed, looking at the camera.
This week has been a hot one and I don’t mean hot as in exciting. Temperatures reached a maximum of 31c where I live. That’s 92f! It sounds hotter when you say it in Farenheit. It’s a temperature that I’m not used to, and my body has been feeling it.
The weirdest part is, that I have been walking around with cold toes, and sometimes cold fingers due to the Reynoud’s Syndrome, while the rest of me has felt at least uncomfortable. That will take a minute to get used to. Luckily our living room isn’t a sauna. Just before we both got sick with Covid, Jessica hung a large white sheet on the biggest window in the living room. It lets light in, but keeps out the humidity. It still gets a little warm in the living room. Though it’s a lot more comfortable without the humidity.
So I can’t say that I have a lot to tell you, because I really didn’t do a lot. I did make a trip to the hearing aid shop to pick up a part for my broken hearing aid. I went there on the day before we celebrated Mom’s birthday because I needed them to adjust the tube to stop the earpiece falling out of my ear. As they detatched the tube to bend it, the hook that attatches the tube to the rest of the hearing aid also fell off. It had apparently been unstable for a while. I was lucky it hadn’t broken while I was outside, otherwise I would have lost the whole hearing aid. They didn’t have any replacement parts in store though, so it had to be ordered. On Wednesday I could finally pick it up. I’ve been without it long enough that it took a couple days to get used to hearing sounds at normal volume again. That was an interesting experience.
On Wednesday afternoon I had an appointment with a lady who came to talk to me about possibilities of improving my social contact. Though I currently can’t tell you much about the available possibilities, I do want to tell you a bit about how handing in my service dog in the middle of a pandemic affected me in the long term.
Allowing Don to retire and go live in a pension home with a family who can give him what he needs, was a decision I needed to make mostly for his sake. Keeping him here while not being able to fully care for him and give him the attention he needs, would have been unfair to him.
Bringing in the district nurses has helped me with my care and having them to talk to while they’re here, helps a bit with my mental health too. Though they’re only here for a maximum of 45 minutes every morning. While Jessica was working from home and I was able to keep myself busy with facetime and videogames, I felt fine. When the pandemic seemed to be stable and she went back to work full time at the office, I realised I was missing something. Don and the physical company he provided while I was home alone. Not only that, but more importantly, the social contact with the wonderful Monique and André when they came every day to help me take Don for a walk.
There are a couple other wonderful people here in the area who, when they have time, come to drink coffee with me or go on a walk if the weather permits. Those moments are not only enjoyable, but fulfill that need for social contact.
On the filp side, when it’s rainy, or they have other commitments, I’ve noticed that my brain sometimes disappears into a whirlpool of negativity and I don’t feel any motivation to do anything. This happened a lot during the winter, a time of the year when my body physically can’t cope with temperatures and I therefore can’t go outside even if I want to. For me, that has to change. I don’t like how it feels when my brain goes on a walk without me. I can’t change how the weather affects my body, but I know I can change where my brain goes. So I’m working with someone to look at possibilities which will keep that motivation going and prevent my brain going on walks without me.
I want my friends to continue enjoying my company as much as I enjoy theirs. It’s not their responsibility to bring my brain back to me every time it goes to inaccessible places. They do a great job of that when I’m with them. There are also other ways I can do that too.
Don’t worry. Right now, I’m fine. I just know I can be even better.
The pandemic has affected many people, not only physically, but also mentally. The isolation we all had to go through will have affected relationships with family and friends. Some of my friendships have gotten stronger, others have changed because the way we had to keep in touch, changed. My biggest friend, Don, even had to leave.
I’m sure some of you also have experienced what I have. My biggest and bestest friend left due to retirement. Though I know some people’s best friends left us due to Covid, that’s a larger and way more difficult pill to swallow.
If you’ve been affected in any way that also means your brain takes inaccessible walks without you, I want you to know that you’re not alone. I also want you to know that it’s ok even if you’re not ok. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Thanks for reading. See you next week.
CRS Life 