Reflection

(Photo Description: Codee sees her reflection smiling back at her as she stands to look in the mirror.)

When I created this website, I was only aiming to make an information portal about CRS. Later, when I added my blog, I thought writing about CRS related topics would be an added bonus. Recently though, I have realised that you cannot devide life up into topics. So I figured life updates, a sort of regular open diary, would still count as a blog about CRS, and also be that added bonus I was looking for.

We are almost at the end of January and the first couple days of 2022 were nice and peaceful. Jessica took down the Christmas decorations, we enjoyed watching The Masked Singer and ate yummy food. On Monday, Jessica started working again and life went back to normal. Tuesday Jan 4th, I was supposed to go to the eye doc, but the lockdown at that time, meant that the hospital was not accepting sighted guides or caregivers, so I cancelled and planned the appointment for a later date.

life started to feel a bit wobbly that afternoon after a phone call from the doctor assistant. I had spoken to the doc at the end of December about a medication that was making me cough. i had also mentioned symptoms I had been having, that made me concerned about my heart. Several medical professionals had commented that I have a fast heartbeat, but it had never bothered me until I started feeling other symptoms a few weeks ago. Since I had so many problems with my heart as a baby, I wanted to get checked out. The doc decided I would need to wear an event recorder – a type of heart monitor, for a week so he could see if there is anything wrong. The phone call was to arrange for it to be connected.

The following Monday was connection day. The tiny thing with three electrodes was stuck to my chest. For some reason, wearing it scared me. This resulted in not getting any sleep Monday night. Tuesday night was better. Unfortunately, by the time Wednesday came, the stickers and tape holding the electrodes in place were making me itch so bad, that it was almost painful. I had forgotten to tell the technition that I had bad reactions to medical tape before. Now my skin was having an allergic reaction that meant the event recorder needed to be removed. I had only been able to wear it for 48 hours. So was hoping it had recorded enough information.

I finally got results a couple days ago. It confirned my heart is beating too fast. Thankfully there is no sign of irregular rhythm. Now I will need to do a test to find out why it seems to like running withot me. HaHa.

On twitter, people often praise me for being so positive. My followers are thankful that I am able to brighten up their day. Thogh I don’t really share negative emotions on social media, I do have moments, sometimes days, when I feel like my emotions are out of my control. But it’s OK to feel that way sometimes. Allowing yourself to feel emotions is what makes you strong enough to find positivity again and put you in a plaace that allows you to bring joy to others.

When you look in the mirror at your reflection, be honest with yourself about how you’re feeling. Then you will eventually be able to produce that smile your friends and family so often get to enjoy.