(Photo Description: The nurse’s hands pop a tablet out of a blister pack into Codee’s hand.)
When the nurses started coming to help me, I spent a short while not knowing how to refer to myself. Not as a person, but in relation to the nurses. Am I their patient?
Though I have chronic illnesses, I’m not sick in a hospital bed. The only meds they give me are those prescribed by my doctor and there’s no IV’s, Oxygen or Catheters to deal with… thank goodness! Alongside the meds they do give me and the eyedrops they put in my eyes, they help me with my personal care. Washing or showering and getting dressed. Essentially, they work for me. So it makes sense that they refer to me as a client and that’s how I now refer to myself. I’m a client under the care of district nurses.
But how do you become the perfect client? How do you become comfortable with them helping you with something so personal? How does this whole ‘getting help from nurses’ thing work in general? What is it like?
Well, the first helpful thing to do, is learn about the team who is caring for you. I refer to them as ‘district nurses’ because it’s a common term used in the English language to describe a qualified professional who comes into your home to care for you. In Dutch, we refer to them as ‘wijkzorg’ (district care) and within each wijkzorg team, there are one or more ‘wijkverpleegkundige’. ‘Verpleegkundige’ meaning nurse. ‘Wijkverpleegkundige’ refers to members of the team who have a full nursing qualification. Sometimes clients do require wound care, catheters or oxygen. So there are people in the team qualified to manage that. The rest of the team falls under ‘wijkzorg’. These wonderful people have followed a different study enabling them to safely and profesionally provide personal care. As far as I’m aware, this includes some medical knowledge so that medications can be given, but not as exstensive as a full nursing qualification.
It’s absolutely their job to be caring for you. Whatever it is you need help with, they’ve done it before. Hundreds of times with various different people of all shapes, sizes colors and genders. They know what they’re doing and they’re comfortable doing it. However, they are human too. I personally feel it’s important that their work environment, your home, is safe. Not only for them to work in but also so that you’re safe while they’re helping you. The head of your nursing team will ask questions about your home and may even ask to look at the rooms they’ll be working in during your initial assessment. They might suggest that extra equipment, such as a hoist, toilet chair or safety alarm be introduced into your home before they start coming to help you. They’ll help you find places where you can get this equipment. In the case of small things such as gloves and face masks that they’ll use during your care, they’ll provide you with it.
One of the issues raised during my assessment, was the difficulty I had at night with getting out of bed to go across the house to the bathroom. We had an open conversation about how to solve it. Would they need to fit a night time catheter every night? Or would a simple toilet chair next to my bed be enough? We started with simple, and my toilet chair is my friend.
My care team are an important part of my daily life. I see them as part of me and and my support system. So I’m very open to talking about my home and the layout of the rooms we use during care. We’ve had multiple conversations about where furniture might best be placed in a room. It’s my home and Jessica and i make the final decisions about what goes where, but I value the opinions of my care team, as it helps me understand how moving things may affect how they can best do their job.
My medication is organized and easily accessible. We use a Baxterrol (Medi Roll) for some of it and what doesn’t go in there, is all kept in one place. They always make sure there’s a box of rubber gloves on hand and there’s a pile of shower shoes hanging out on top of my medication cabinet. They use these to put over their own shoes during shower time to protect the bathroom from outside dirt. But the dang things break really easily, so an extra supply is always handy. I also have a blood pressure monitor, glucose meter, pulsox meter and thermometer kept in certain places so they can independently find them and use them to check my medical state. Even when I’m too sick to coherantly explain where they are. My two most regular nurses also know where to find clean clothing and towels. These are not expectations that you’ll be required to meet. They’re things that make it easy for me and my team to work together. I’m very comfortable with this and you’ll only be expected to allow what you’re condortable with.
The last and probably most awkward part of becoming a good client is about privacy and personal space. What is it like to have a nurse present while you shower? How does it feel when you need to have them wash you and dress you? I thought that I’d hate it. I spent hours freaking out about it and almost caused myself panick attacks. When the first care moment began, the nurse helping me at that time, talked about everything she was doing. From which part of my body she was about to wash, to which item of clothing she would help me with next. That really helped me feel calm and relaxed. By the time we were done, I was the happyest I’d been in months. I had never felt so clean and refreshed.
In most cases, a nurse is there to help you be as independent as you can. You’ll be encouraged to do what you can yourself and they’ll do the things you struggle with. My case is a little different, as they come to help me save energy. They need to wash me. They need to dress me. If they don’t, I won’t make it through the day without sleeping. They respect all the choices I make with washing and dressing and the order in which we do things and that makes the experience very comfortable.
For me it helps that some of my team allow me to get to know them as people. They share stories about their lives outside of their job and that helps to create a bond. A respectful one. As they often don’t mention names of their family or friends and I don’t ask them questions that may invade their privacy. What we do talk about, reminds me that they’re people with feelings and emotions and that enables me to build up my trust in them. The more I trust them, the more i am comfortable sharing about myself, my feelings and my emotions. The more they’re able to do to help me with my care.
It all started with me simply asking them how they’re doing and how their day is going. Now i refer to them as my professional friends. I know they come to do a job. But I treat them with the same respect and curtousy that I would treat a friend and that in turn allows us to manage those very personal aspects of my care.
Communication is key. I make use of their online portal where I can read their reporta about my care and leave them notes. I share my feelings and my needs and I’m honest when I don’t feel good. Even when something happens that I didn’t appreciate or wasn’t comfortable with, we make time to sit down and have a constructive conversation about it. Allowing us to make changes where needed. The more open I am in my communication, the easier it becomes to work as a team.
We all know that there’s really no such thing as perfect. However, it’s possible to make things feel that way. It took a while for me and my team to get to a place that feels perfect to us and now, I look forward to them coming every day.
CRS Life 