(Photo Description: A colloge of two photos. The first shows Codee and Don, a golden labrador retreiver sitting next to each other on their first day together. The second photo shows Codee hugging Don on their last day together.)
It doesn’t feel like that long ago when Don spent his first night with me, walking up and down the hallway. Jumping on the bed and off the bed. He couldn’t settle. However, it didn’t take long before we began to build a bond, a friendship. I was loved and I had a lot of love to give back.
I was amazed at how much a Service Dog could do for me. Opening drawers, pulling a rope to turn on a light. They seemed like such small things but to me, it was huge. I was given freedom and began feeling more and more self confident.
2 years later a pandemic struck the country and shortly after the first lockdown began, Don produced an alarming bark that myself or my caretaker never knew he was capable of. A bark that my caretaker couldn’t ignore. I just didn’t realise at the time, how much my life and also Don’s life was about to change.
A lot of work goes into owning a Service Dog. Yes, Don helped me gain more independence and being able to bring my best friend everywhere helped me gain self confidence. However, there’s a whole care package a handler has to provide for the dog. Feeding, grooming, walking, regular play time and regular training. The training is the most important part as that is what drives the dog’s enthusiasm for work. Not only practicing tasks that you don’t need daily help with. You also have to be creative and think of new tasks to challenge his brain.
When the training stops because you’re sick and someone else needs to take over his care because you’re too sick to move… the dog starts bonding with his new caregiver and the training has to start from the beginning.
After 8 weeks I was happy to be well enough to go outside and take Don for a walk. I restarted rehabilitation therapy. I also started trying to work with Don on rebuilding our bond. However, I quickly realized something wasn’t right. I was no longer sick, but felt weak. Many of my muscles were not functioning in the way I was used to and I was overpowered by a constant fatigue. Trying to do therapy while working with Don was too much.
While Don took a vacation with his foster family, I continued my therapy. Many talks with care professionals lead to the conclusion that I had probably suffered with COVID. There were no tests available at the time I was sick and months later was too late for me to be tested for antibodies. But the weakness, lack of energy and fatigue are common long lasting side effects. Whatever I had and was still dealing with, combined with chronic pain and Congenital Rubella Syndrome, meant I wasn’t likely to regain any strength. In fact, my therapy was changed so that I could learn to maintain my current condition instead of trying to recover. This news lead to a difficult decision.
I wasn’t physically strong enough to care for Don and that wasn’t likely to change. Though I knew I needed help, if I couldn’t care for my dog, we wouldn’t have the bond needed to work together. I couldn’t give him what he needed and that felt wrong and unfair. So I decided together with my caretaker and trainer to allow Don to retire.
At the end of September, he went to live with another family as a pet. There he gets all the attention he deserves and the challenges he needs to keep him from getting bored.
The day the trainer came to take him away to his new family broke my heart. I cried… a lot. Allowing your best friend to leave you and move on in the middle of a pandemic, when all you really want is to hug your best friend is the worst timing ever. I spent a lot of time feeling like I somehow failed him and disappointed him. But later that weekend, when I heard he had settled in well and was definitely going to be part of a new family, I felt a sense of relief. I started to feel like my decision was good.
Don has done a lot for me. Because of him I’ve learned to be more patient and discovered I can achieve a lot more than I thought I could. More importantly, he helped me gain self confidence. I’m no longer the shy little mouse I once was and although me being sick meant my best friend had to leave me, my self confidence doesn’t have to go anywhere. Don has left me with that and it will last for the rest of my life.
I’ll need that self confidence as I continue to manage the new health issues I live with. Dealing with those physical changes as well as choosing to say goodbye to my dog has had a great impact on my mental state. It’s challenging. Luckily I’m always ready for a challenge.
I’ve been asked a few since Don left and I’d like to answer them here;
Will I be getting a new Service Dog?
No. I currently have no plans to have any animals in the house. If I’m not well enough or strong enough to care for Don, I’m also not going to be able to do that for a new dog. My loyal caretaker and I, currently have all my care needs under control and we will find other ways to deal with changes in the future if that’s necessary.
Does Don’s new family bring Don to visit you, or do you visit him?
No. The placement with his new family was arranged by the training school. I was told how big the family is and what city they live in. Due to privacy laws, that’s all the information I was given. Though I gave the school permission to give my details to the family, I’m not sure if they received the information. Or maybe they have chosen not to do anything with it at this time and that’s ok. I respect their decision. Due to a great friend who lives near to Don and recognised him during a walk, I have seen photos. He looks great and appears very happy.
I’m truly thankful for the time Don and I have spent together. Also thankful to everybody who made it possible for him to be in my life to begin with. My caretaker Jessica, buddy’s André and Monique, the website VraagElkaar and of course Don’s school.
I love Don with all my heart and he’ll have a place there forever. Sometimes when you love someone, you do what’s right for them by letting them go.
CRS Life 